Ana and Christian: Moments in time
by RillaRC
Summary: Settled after the ending of the third book (before the epilogue) This fanfic will be just a collection of different moments that might pop up in my mind. I will post them in chronological order. They all will be sweet, or hot, or funny... (I hope) No angst or cheating or anything like that :)
1. Scene 1: Do I love you?

Scene One – "Do I love you?":

**Anastasia Grey. **

He kisses me sweet but passionately before leaving me sitting in the kitchen island, and I watch him as he enters his office. It's Saturday morning, we're alone, so he's going around with those jeans of his that hangs off his hips in that damned sexy way I love. Mmmm. Excuse me while I drool and sigh over this beautiful husband of mine… My inner goddess smiles while languidly swimming herself in a big, comfortable hammock, still remembering last night. My conscience shakes her head, not approving of our attitude, as she keeps reading some Shakespeare.

We're still at the Scala, but only for a couple of months more. Elliot and his team are really speeding up for our new home to be ready as soon as possible. We want to be installed there way before the baby is born, to have the room prepared and everything. Christian is about to burst because he can't stuff it already with the crib and all the things he wants to buy. We have actually bought some stuff, which is stored up here, in one of the spare rooms on the next floor. Grace is being quite impatient too. I'm afraid we will have to accommodate two rooms at least if I let them got their way and buy everything they want to!

I smile to myself and slide down the stool to take my empty glass of juice to the sink. Yes, for the first time, I realize what Christian feels about spending his money – or ours, as he would say - on me. As much as I still can't get used to those ridiculous high prices that he thinks normal to pay for everything, when it comes to my baby, I don't give a damn about it: I only want the best. So I guess that loving a baby is just the same as being in love. And we both are in love with Little Blip, there's no doubt about it. My Fifty has finally – or I think so, at least, haven't talked about it again since we did when we were back from the hospital - overcome his fear of being a father. As much as any newly father can do that, I mean. But the thing is, I don't see anxiety gripping him anymore when we talk about Junior.

Still, I'm assuming that up until the moment he holds our offspring in his arms and looks right into his (or her) eyes, my lost boy will still feel a little overcome with it all. Oh well. We still have time.

As all these thoughts cross my mind, I sit again, bite my lip and wait, impatiently. It's been only a month since the whole Hyde debacle, since I came back home, and since Christian finally realized that I will always be here. It finally went through that thick skull of his that what I feel for him, will never go away.

**Christian Grey.**

I enter my office with a smile tugging at the corner of my lips. It's Saturday, we're alone, and we still have all weekend only for us. Today I only feel like being home and making love to my wife for hours. Tomorrow though, I will probably take her somewhere. Still don't know where, I have to think about it. Maybe to the Space Needle, as I promised her while crossing Seattle in Charlie Tango. The day she agreed to come back with me. Seems like it was centuries ago, but is not. A few months have hardly passed, actually.

I'm still marvelled at the way everything has changed since then. Since the day she fell into my office. My sweet, exasperating, beautiful, witty, sexy, smart Anastasia. My wife. Mine and only mine. And Little Blip's of course. Although I think I don't mind to share. I guess. I'm actually looking forward to meet our baby, take care of him. Will he really love me unconditionally, as Ana says? I hope so, because I think I already do. It's an odd feeling, I'm still not familiar with it. Me. A father.

Shaking my head, I push those thoughts apart. I know that everything will be OK, It couldn't be any other way with my beloved wife by my side. I know I don't show her often, but I do trust her, and listen to her, to everything she has to say to me. Because I love her.

I smile openly now as I sit behind my desk. But before I open the laptop, I notice my iPad laying right by its side. Weird, I don't remember having put it in here. Frowning, I pick it up and press the slide to the side. The music player appears first thing in the screen, a song on pause in it, it seems. I press play and Ella Fitzgerald's voice fills quietly the room.

_Do I love you do I?  
Doesn't one and one make two?  
Do I love you do I?  
Does July need a sky of blue?  
Would I miss you, would I, if you ever should go away?  
If the sun should desert the day, what would life be? _

I stand still, barely breathing, my forearms' hairs standing, a shiver down my spine, as the lyrics and music of a song I know well wash over me. Yes, I've heard it before, but rarely ever listened to it. And if I ever did, I never paid much attention, knowing that it spoke of feelings, of love. Of matters removed very far from me, that would never touch me.

_Will I leave you, never?  
Could the ocean leave the shore?  
Will I worship you forever?  
Isn't heaven forevermore?  
Do I love you, do I?  
Oh my dear it's so easy to see,  
Don't you know I do, don't I show you I do,  
Just as you love me._

Ah, but they do now. They _do_ touch me. She _does_ touch me. My wife. Caresses me, embraces me, kisses me. Loves me. Still don't know why but yes, I've already accepted that she does and I willingly take that love. Crave for it, beg for it, live for it.

The song ends leaving me with a sweet soft pain in my chest. I close my eyes, basking for a moment in the bittersweet feeling. Oh, the things she does to me.

"What am I gonna do with you, Anastasia?" I whisper.

Opening my eyes, I turn off the iPad and take a deep breath so I can regain some composure again. She's not even in the room and she has me already longing for her, aching for her. How does she do that? It's been only what? Five minutes since I last kissed her. A few hours since I last buried myself inside her.

She laughs at me – I smile at the thought. Yes, she does: she laughs at me, that errant wife of mine – because I like being in control of everything. But there is only one thing I can't control: this. Not now, not here, not today after this song, after these words she has dedicated to me.

I walk deliberately slowly towards the door, and open it, finding her exactly in the same spot where I left her, biting that full, delicious bottom lip of hers. Of mine. My wife looks at me with blue, wide, tinkling eyes, awaiting my reaction. I feel my body temperature rise, grow warmer, my lips part, my chest rise and fall. She knows, and she smiles, triumphant.

Finally arriving by her side, I delicately part her legs and stand in between them, cupping her face with my hands, my thumbs caressing her soft, pale skin.

"Well, Mrs Grey. Seems like I'm not gonna work a lot, if nothing at all, today"

As I'm leaning to kiss her, she giggles and I know I'm lost.


	2. Scene 2: Unforgettable

**A/N: Just a little something that I wrote today to thank you all for the follows, the favorites and the reviews! It's written a little in a hurry, because I wanted to say GRACIAS. Next scenes might take a little longer, since I'd like to plot them all before writing them. It won't be much time anyway. Once again, thank you for being there :)**

Scene 2 – Unforgettable.

Monday. One more time. I let myself flop down into my chair at SIP - future Grey Publishing - and I can't help but sigh. I love my job. That's why I haven't quitted, despite Christian's subtle – and no so subtle – attempts to convince me to do exactly that. But I love even more our weekends. And this last one was just… dreamy. As dreamy might be my face while I remember it. I feel the smile that, slowly but surely, appears on my face. And the sweet warmth that radiates from deep within my body and melts my heart.

After Christian found out the iPad, he made it his particular crusade for the two days to make me feel the most cherished, loved woman in the world. And he succeeded. I'm amazed at how the little details, like me putting the song in there, mean so much to him. My Fifty, in his Ivory Tower, so unreachable and cold, has never let anyone love him before.

I sigh again, remembering our lovemaking, our playroom session, our dinner at the Space Needle. And our cuddling. I love cuddling with him. I love to be lying by his side, to watch my fingers playing with the soft hair of his lovely chest, tracing the line of his pectorals. I love to kiss it, to feel it under my lips, making him tense, grabbing my hair, asking me without words to keep on going. I love, love placing my cheek in there, close my eyes and just feel him breath. I marvel at the fact that his chest once was forbidden territory, but it has become now _my_ territory. I love that he's mine. All of him. That I can claim my husband in a way no one else has ever done before. Not even… that awful woman. I smile maliciously and content. She never cuddled with him. Ha! My inner goddess throws her arm around my inner bitch's shoulders and they both blow me a kiss.

Still smiling, I get myself ready for the day. I start the computer while I open my agenda, that Hannah always leave on my desk first thing in the morning. As I page through it, my hand unconsciously goes to my belly, and I smile some more. Morning, Little Blip! I look down feeling calm and happy, but the sound of an incoming email makes me look up.

**From:** Christian Grey

**Subject:** Reasons why I knew I loved you.  
**Date:** October 31 2011 8:42  
**To:** Anastasia Grey

1. Because instead of getting highly irritated when you fell into my office, I found it funny. (And loved that chestnut hair of yours falling all over your face)

2. Because when you let fall the tape recorder TWICE on my desk, I just wanted to fix it for you (instead of throwing it away and yell at you to get out)

3. Because after you asked me if I was gay, I wanted to spank you (but to me, as you know, that is not a bad thing)

4. Because your eyes saw through me from the first moment. Because I wanted you to stay. Because I needed to hold your hand (OK, those are several reasons, but to me they're a whole package. Deal with me, please)

5. Because I stayed in Portland just so I could see you again (and I followed you like a puppy while you lead me through the islands of that awful hardware store. Oh, the sight of your fine ass was just captivating)

6. Because I hated posing for pictures. And still, there I was, posing in that hotel room for that student's magazine. Anything for you, baby. Since the very beginning.

7. Because I asked you to stay away from me – BUT YOU DEFIED ME, LIKE ALWAYS.

8. Because you called me. I almost died (see next reason)

9. Because I tracked your cell phone, eaten up by a senseless, stupid anxiety, thinking something bad could happen to you. A little innocent woman I hardly knew. Not a feeling I was used to at all (Now is my everyday, even more now, with you carrying our child. Thank you *note the slightly ironic tone, please*)

10. Because I still found you sexy despite the fact that you almost vomited on me (poor azaleas)

11. Because I couldn't take my eyes off you that night (and had to make some emergency exercises that morning so I could restrain myself from having my wicked way with you)

12. Because fuck the papers ;-)

13. Because anyone else had touched you, you were waiting for me. You are only mine.

14. Because only you can touch me.

15. Because you risked everything for the ones I love (PS: if you ever do that again, you have no idea of the things I would make to you. And I don't mean in a good way)

16. Because you put up with your megalomaniac and control freak husband (that's me)

17. Because you're giving me the chance to have my own family. And I'm not afraid anymore.

18. Because you dedicate songs of love to me.

19. Because you drive me mad and you make me happy.

20. Just because.

And one hundred reasons more.

I love you, Mrs Grey. Always. Thank you for a lovely, unforgettable weekend.

Your husband,

Christian Grey  
Totally and desperately in love CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

I stare at the screen with my mouth hanging open and realize I'm not breathing. I take a gulp of air and wash away the tears that have been silently running down my face since around point four, I think. Oh, Christian. Could I love you more? I don't think so. This mercurial, control freak, lost boy, loving man that is my husband. My hands cup my belly and I sob a little.

"Look, honey, this is your father" I whisper, rereading his words, drinking them.

And I am, once again, the happiest woman in the world.


	3. Scene 3: Teddy

Scene 3 – Teddy.

**A/N: I really would have wanted the birth scene to be more elaborated in the book. And I also missed Christian's POV. So well, I tried a little mix of both things. I hope you like it. Ana's POV once they're home will be next :) Thanks for reading and following the scenes! ^^ **

Finally, this might be over soon, after hours of agonizing waiting and excruciating pain for my stubborn wife. I swear it could have been the death of me or fucking Dr Greene. One of us would not have made it!. It's all I can think as I run along the corridor, by my wife's side, my heart in my mouth.

"Mr. Grey, you'll need to change into scrubs."

"What?"

_Scrubs? What is she talking about?_

"Now, Mr. Grey."

Damn! Of course! I'm going into the operating room with Ana. Go change, you idiot! So I give a light squeeze to my love's hand and I'm heading where the doctor says, when I hear Ana's painful call for me. I turn around only to face Greene again.

"Now or you won't enter with her. And you need to be there, in case we must make a decision" she says, earnestly.

I think all blood dreads from my face. This can't be happening. I run, fumble into the scrubs and run back again, afraid it might have taken me too long. But it seems not, since I'm quickly ushered inside. Ana is pale, sweating like she was made of wax, and clasps my hand in hers in panic.

"I'm frightened," she whispers, freezing my blood.

"No, baby, no. I'm here. Don't be frightened. Not my strong Ana."

I kiss her forehead, desperate, trying to suppress my tremble. Everything is gonna be OK. We can't have come this far for… for nothing! I need her. I need them. Both. I hate this.

"What is it?"

_Fuck. _

"What?"

"What's wrong?" she insists. Even at this moment, she can't help being persistent and I… I breath.

"Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine. Baby, you're just exhausted."

I can't do nothing. I can't do nothing, is not in my hands, and I feel the biggest fear ever, gripping and tugging at my chest, twisting my heart hard. I'll do anything. Please. God, Destiny. Whatever. I'll do anything. Anything. Please. It's all I can think as I keep holding her hand and the anesthesiologist does his job. When I see the needle I blanch, but I pretend I'm not impressed. Ana doesn't even care.

"She's having another contraction."

My wife crushes my hand and I wonder where her force comes from, since she seems to be almost on the limit of passing out. I wish I could take all the pain for her. After all, is not as if I don't know how it feels like. Although I'm sure nothing compares to this. My sweet Ana, in the other hand, unable to go farther than spanking, should not be going through this. Oh baby. I wish I could help. I wish I could do something. I feel so useless. But she is looking at me, and I try to relax and look brave, so she can't see how fucking worried I am.

"Can you feel this, Mrs. Grey?" Dr. Greene asks from behind the curtain.

"Feel what?"

"You can't feel it."

"No."

And that's good? Well, yes, of course. She's supposed not to feel it so they make the cesarean. I need to take a grip or I will pass out or god knows what, I swear.

"You're doing well, Ana." I try to encourage her. And I really think she is. But… I just… Greene's words come back to me. _You need to be there, in case we must make a decision_.

I chose you, Ana. I chose you, but I don't want to.

"I love you," she whispers, saying the words I haven't dared to say, afraid they would sound too definitive. Taking me out of my dark reverie.

"Oh, Ana," I can't keep it anymore and my voice cracks. "I love you, too, so much."

I love you and I need you and I will die if anything happens to you. I see her face adopts a weird expression and I anxiously look over to see what's going on. Oh my. As gore as it is, I can't tear my eyes apart and keep on watching as the doctors open my wife's swollen belly and struggle to take my baby boy out. It's… I have no words.

And just like that, there he is. Straight from my wife's body. Theodore Raymond Grey. All bathed in white mush and blood, scalp covered with dark hair, so tiny and… precious and perfect. A little slap in his little rounded ass and he proves us all he has lungs, but I can't breathe and I'm sure my eyes are twice their normal size.

I look back at Ana, who seems to be fully awake now, before turning my attention to my baby again, seeing a nurse beckoning me to go and hold him. She puts him in my arms, and I flinch as I see her cut the umbilical cord, but Ted doesn't seem to notice, so it's fine. I feel like I'm floating, feeling his weight for the first time, seeing his face up close. Something warm and heavy deep inside me unfurls, spreading through all my body. Love in his purest state. I rush back to my wife's side and proudly present him to her, her face alive and glowing.

"Here's your son, Mrs. Grey," I can barely speak.

"Our son," she breathes, happier than I've ever seen her. My son. _Our_ son. Flesh of our flesh. Blood of our blood. "He's beautiful."

"He is," I admit, planting a trembling kiss on our boy's forehead. His skin is soft and he smells in a very particular way, calling me, dragging me in. I close my eyes tight, thankful. In awe. Amazed. Happy. _Ecstatic_. "Thank you, Ana," I whisper to my weeping wife, feeling tears in my eyes too.

For a few moments, there's only the three of us, up until the moment the nurse takes my son from my arms and the doctors finish their job on Ana. I stand, divided, watching the nurse clean up my baby one moment, the next one holding my wife's hand again as they sew her. Gosh. Really. I love her more than ever for being able to go through this, epidural or not. But my eyes dart to the nurse again, and Ana is trying to have a look too.

"It's OK" I say to her, soothingly. "He's OK"

She looks drained, as if a truck had run all over her. My poor Ana.

"And you? Are you OK, baby?" I lean in and kiss her forehead, gently pressing her knuckles to my lips, kissing them as well.

"Yes, I am" she says with a content smile, her eyes half closed.

"Good, go to sleep then. I'll take care of everything"

She sighs, as relieved, trusting me, and lets herself drown into unconsciousness. I watch her, concerned for a moment, and Doctor Greene catches my eye.

"It's good for her to sleep. She won't get much of it for the next months" I look at her, puzzled. "Is she going for breast-feeding?"

"Yes" I reply, sharply.

I get that since she's her Doctor, she has to make personal questions. But is there any need of making them in front of all these people? My wife's breasts and what she does with them is nobody's business.

"Good, she will be able to feed the baby a few hours after she has woken up. I'll let you know. But she can't eat in about 24 hours"

"What?" I exclaim. No eating for a whole day?

"We'll talk later, when Mrs Grey is awake. Now, if you want to, you can take your son to meet the family while we finish here" she grins at me, for the first time I think, as the nurse comes back and hands me an improved version of my son, all dressed up and clean.

My heart melts. I already adore this little buddy.

Greene shows me the door but I don't move.

"We'll wait here, thank you" I say, earnestly.

She seems to want to say something, but I guess my attitude is crystal clear and she thinks it better. Yes, we're staying.


	4. Scene 4: Happy Family

**Anastasia Grey**

**A/N: Well, this is what came up. Not sure it is exactly what I wanted to tell, but I hope you like it just the same :) Thank you all for the reviews! XD Guest asked me if I could write about the wedding engagement. Truth is, I prefer to write about their post married life. We'll see. Anabel28 asked me why Christian hadn't cut Teddy's cord. Well, I just thought it was cuter to see him flinch, that actually cutting it, lol. **

Oh, I needed this. I feel so… repaired.

"Look, she's awaking" my Fifty's murmur comes floating to me.

Oh my! I'm suddenly fully awake and without thinking, I try to sit. Big mistake. My belly burns.

"Hey, easy Ana!"

Christian places a hand on my shoulder, urging me to be still while holding our baby against his chest.

My baby! That's who Christian was talking to! Oh, my baby! My inner goddess, my consciousness, and even my inner bitch, the three of them are twisting their hands anxiously, peeking with round big eyes, at the verge of tears, as I extend my arms and silently claim him.

"There you go…" Christian places him awkwardly in my arms. "Doctor Greene said you shouldn't hold any weight, even the baby's too much, so don't move and stay laying in bed" He hovers anxiously over me. "Are you OK? Are you comfortable?" he kneels by the bed's side, leveling his eyes with mine.

"Christian" I look at him in awe.

"I know" he replies softly, knowing exactly what I mean, caressing my cheek with bright eyes and the sweetest smile.

I look down at the bundle in my arms. Oh, my baby. My baby. Oh God. Yes, I start to cry. With one hand, Christian cups the back of Teddy's head. With the other, his thumb dries my tears, but they keep flowing. Oh, my baby. To finally have him in my arms and to be able to enjoy, savor the moment. Commit to memory his lovely face. He's wrapped in a soft blue blanket, and I see that under it he is wearing a white and yellow pajama with little blue stars all over it, my favorite. He's sucking on his pacifier and opens his eyes briefly. He's awake! He blinks several times before closing them again. They're grey, I swear! I close my eyes, still weeping, and press my cheek to his forehead. My son! I can't believe it.

"Did you imagine him like this?"

Christian speaks in a quiet, soft voice, watching him.

I smell my baby and his father strokes his forehead gently.

"He's beyond anything I ever envisioned" I say, enraptured.

"Yes, he is" he agrees with me and leans in to kiss our Teddy and then me. A worshipping, reverencing, soft kiss. I feel my love for him blossom and spring with a force that catches my breath. For being here, for being whom he is. For giving me this. This moment, this baby.

I look at him, trying to put into words what I feel, but I can't.

"I haven't been able to separate myself from him. And we were anxious for you to wake up!" he's radiating light. My fifty shades' all light at the moment.

"I love you"

He gives me his biggest, happiest smile.

"I love you too" and I know he means the both of us.

Out of a sudden, Teddy, claiming some attention, pushes the pacifier out and starts to rub his little mouth against me, searching. He's hungry! For some weird reason, that makes me extremely happy. And I realize how much my breasts hurt. They feel full and gravid. But, should I?

"That's OK" Christian the mind reader assures me, and I look up at him, surprised. Since when is he a specialist on this? "Doctor Greene said you'd have to wait a few hours before feeding him, and they have already passed"

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Almost four hours"

_Wow_. That much? And I'm sure that during these, he's been driving everybody crazy at the hospital, having them reassure him every now and then that I was OK. I just know it.

"And you've been here all the time? With me and Teddy?"

"Yes. I've always been able to watch you sleep for hours, Anastasia" _I love him_. "And I've had the best company"

He smiles, gently touching our baby's hair.

Again, Teddy rubs his lovely face against my chest, trying to find my nipple. Carefully, I move him so he's in the right position and my husband pulls down my gown, so my breast is free. My son doesn't hesitate and both his father and I amaze at his determination on gripping my nipple.

"Well, someone's hungry"

Cute alert! Proud daddy in the room! I giggle, and we both look at each other with identical big, silly grins on our faces. We watch for a moment in content silence but soon I can't resists to kiss him several times, murmuring incoherencies and words of love to him, looking up to see Christian's radiant face every now and then. His dad keeps studying his little hands and little fingers, brushing his lips against them. It's just… magical. Exhilarating.

After a while, I move him to the other breast, helped by Christian, who arranges my clothes once again with a tenderness that melts my heart. I'm a damn lucky woman. Wife and mother. What else can I ask for?

Oh yes. Something.

"Christian"

"Hmph?" he replies distractedly, his finger tracing the baby chubby cheeks.

"Where's everybody? Where's my mum?"

He kisses Teddy's crown and sighs in a way that makes me laugh softly.

"Well, it went like this. Your mother cried, my mother cried, your daddy didn't want to cry, but he did. My father couldn't stop grinning and look at my baby" I smile at the way he says _my_ – "in a way that was unnerving, I had never seen him like that. Mia demanded to have a baby already, which almost killed of an apoplexy both my parents and Ethan. And Kate and Elliot were over the moon with their first nephew. I sent them all home and told them I would call when you woke up. Except your mother, Taylor took her to a hotel nearby so she could rest. He's already driving her back here"

I beam at him.

"You .ever"

I say passionately and sincerely. He gives me his shy smile and leans in to kiss me.

"Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine. Better than ever" I smile back at him.

How could I not? I'm in the best Hospital of Seattle, in my own private room… And for the first time I notice my surroundings. The piece is large, luminous, with even a little sitting room– a table and a few chairs – a big TV, and most of anything, it is a room crowded with flowers. Flowers of all sizes and colors, everywhere.

"Christian, the flowers! I love them. Thank you very much"

"You're welcome. For you always hearts and flowers, Mrs Grey"

A warm expression on his eyes, our gazes locked. I love him. I'm always aware that I love him, but specially today, I can't seem to stop thinking about how much I love him. My precious and temperamental husband, who has gone all over the top, reminding me of the night of his proposal. There are also balloons and several stuffed animals, including, obviously, a giant Teddy Bear.

And speaking of Teddys, seems like ours is finally done. And I'd love to hold him forever, but Christian was right and I'm starting to feel my belly, and my arms as well, heavy and uncomfortable.

"Here, give him to me…"

His daddy notices and eagerly takes him in his arms. I'm sighing contently when there's a knock on the door, and Doctor Greene comes in.

"Mr Grey. Happy to see you're awake"

The side look he throws at my husband doesn't go unnoticed by me, confirming my earlier suspicions. Have I already said that I love him?

"How are you?"

She comes closer to the bed and studies me with attention.

"Fine. A little sore. But happy" I smile and look at my two men.

"Did you already feed him?"

"Yes, he finished just now"

"Did he burp?"

"Not yet" Christians chips in. "But we're trying. Right, Teddy?"

He speaks to him with a low, sweet, cute little voice that makes me want to hold the two of them forever. Man, I am sentimental today.

"Well, I'd appreciate you wouldn't, but is important that the baby does"

Hey! Doctor Greene has a sense of humor. On the other hand, Christian is not impressed. I cover my impending smile as well as I can.

"Well, since everything's fine, I'll leave here some papers and instructions about the recovery of the cesarean and I'll come back later to see if you have any questions. Just wanted to make sure you were awake"

"Thank you"

As she leaves, Christian comes to sit next to me in bed and goes on about the best posture for Teddy to… well, burp, based in everything we've read about babies. Because of course, Mr Control Freak here, after an exhaustive Internet searching, made a huge dossier that could have been named "Everything you need – or not – to know about newborns"

Which is fine, I mean, I wanted to be prepared too. Although I prefer traditional methods. That is, asking my mother or Grace. That didn't stop him anyway. And honestly, sometimes it wasn't fun, with him worrying about stuff that will hardly ever happen to our child.

Anyway, I can't help but smile as he goes on and on about the subject on hand with the same passion he pours into everything he does. Teddy is now lying across his knees, and Christian is rubbing his back. I reach out and touch my husband's face. He looks up at me, eyes burning with mirth and love. I knew it, since the moment I shook off my own fear and insecurities after the unexpected news of the pregnancy, that he would be the greatest father.

"Are you OK?"

As I know I will hear this question several times in the next weeks. Another of the things that really worried him was the whole postpartum depression. For the moment, everything's fine, though. And I hope it keeps that way.

"I was just thinking"

He moves Teddy back to his arms, mission accomplished.

"About what?"

"About you. About us"

"Any conclusions, Mrs Grey?"

He asks playfully, in such a good mood. Happy.

"That everything has happened so fast in the last year. That we hardly knew each other. That we're still finding out. And that I wouldn't have it any other way if I could do it all over again"

I touch my baby's face and smile. When I look up, my husband's stare is now intense and piercing, burning me.

"I love you too, Anastasia"


	5. Scene 5: Detroit

**Anastasia Grey.**

Me talking to Grace, making questions, begging her to keep it secret. That's how it all began.

And with a big, monumental fight, that's how it continued.

"Drop it, Ana! I don't know why you keep going on with this, I swear!"

My husband, wearing only his pajamas pants, yelled at me like he hadn't done in forever. But the days where he intimidated were long far gone.

"Because you need to do this, Christian! You can't keep this taunting you forever!"

I hate fighting with him, but I had to try put some sense into his head. Anyway, he just glared at me and Ted, in the other room, started to cry. Surely because of our aired argument. Hearing his baby seemed to sober him a little. He turned on his heels and exited the room, ignoring me, but I followed.

From the door, I watched as he took our little boy from his crib and cradled him. With such tender, such love, that all my frustration went away. My three months baby immediately stopped crying, feeling safe in his daddy's arms.

"At some point, in some moment of her life, I'm sure she held you like that. No matter the crap she was into, she could have abandoned you, but she didn't"

I keep my distance staying by the door, waiting for a sign.

"I wish she had" he replies, but doesn't look at me, still angry.

I don't think he means that, by the way.

"You loved her, Christian. How could you not? You just wanted her, like Teddy wants you, like he wants me. You were a little bird and wanted her near" my voice falls to a broken whisper as I speak.

Teddy raises his little hand to touch his father's face. I can see the struggle in Christian's eyes, and I know what he is thinking. That probably, he once touched her like this as well.

"Being a parent is a gift, and she didn't how know to respect it. But she was and will always be the woman who gave you the life. And for that only, I will be eternally grateful to her"

He closes his eyes and kisses Teddy's forehead, brushing soft, loving kisses all over his precious face afterwards. He seems to cling to his son, as if he could save his dark soul. For I know that deep inside him, still remain some despising issues at himself and his past. It breaks my heart. Teddy, oblivious to his complicated and troubled dad, just looks up at him with adoration, making Christian's lips curve in a tender smile.

I finally walk in, put my hand on his shoulder. He sighs deeply and relaxes under my touch, but still says nothing. I rest my face against his arm, watching our son, that perfect mixture of him and I, and cup one of Christian's hand with mine.

"Please, don't be mad at me. I just want to make it right. You need this. I know that Grace and Carrick are your parents but, what are you going to tell your son when he asks about it? Are you going to lie to him, tell him you're not adopted? Pretend you don't know who your mother was?"

"I hate this" he says, quietly but fiercely.

"I know. That's why we have to end it" I insist, as exhausted as him.

And hopefully, after some more convincing and some other similar arguments, this is how it ends.

It's a sunny, clear autumn day with a deep blue sky above us. We walk together, holding hands. I can feel the stiffness in his arm, the tension radiating from him in waves. I know he is making this for me, but I really, really hope that it will serve to put his ghosts at rest. For the moment, his face remains closed and expressionless.

Following the indications we were given at the entrance, we follow the path that crosses the cemetery, walking through mausoleums and ornamental tombstones, until we reach one of the farther sides of the place. Leaving the sun outside, we walk into a simple, grey columbarium, light streaming timidly from the old, tattered crystal dome in the middle of the ceiling, a fallen angel greeting us at the door. It's a place for common burials, for people with no meanings. Not for the first time, I wonder what Christian's life would have been if his mother hadn't died. It's a terrible thought, but I can't help it.

After some searching, we finally find the dirty and abandoned niche with a name on it: Ella Young. And young she was. I never thought of asking Christian her age, but according to this, she was only a couple of years older than me when she died. I squeeze Christian's hand, but still, there is no response from him. He just stares at the niche, impassive. It pains me in a way I didn't think it would.

"Christian…"

Nothing. I feel kinda depressed and suffocated here, so I close my eyes tight for a brief moment, then contemplate the stone in front of me again. For some reason, I can't stand to see the dirt covering it, so I start to brush it off with my hand.

"Leave it, Ana" he speaks with a low and harsh voice, as if making a tremendous effort.

I look at my husband and I know that now is not the time to argue. His face is ashen and my heart constricts. I feel sad. So incredibly sad. I start to have doubts this was a good idea at all.

But just then, he reaches out and starts brushing the grave himself, very slowly... My eyes well up in tears immediately as he push apart all the rubbish, using one of his handkerchief. I don't know why I cry, but I do. I weep silently as he finishes and places his hand against the stone. I hug his arm against my chest, hard, and press my forehead against his broad shoulder.

"I love you Christian"

After a long pause, his hand falls from the tomb and he turns and holds me tight, fiercely, still silent.


	6. Scene 6: Back Home

**A/N: Last chapter didn't include Author's note, sorry! This is a scene in three little parts: cemetery (Scene 5), this one and the next. I hope you enjoy them. Thank you all for the reviews! :)**

**Christian Grey.**

_She pushes the door of the oven closed and eyes it suspiciously. _

"_There you go. It will take a while, tough" she turns to me. "I'm not really sure that your birthday is today, but who cares, right? Today's just as good as any other day" she admits, shrugging. _

_Yes! A birthday cake! All for me! I'm so excited. _

"_I'm gonna have a shower now. Did you shower yourself today?" _

"_Yes mummy, I did" I say, proud of myself. _

"_Good boy, Chris. Good boy" She pats my head distractedly." Now watch the cake"_

_She leaves and I do as I'm told, staying all the time in front of the stove without moving, wanting my cake and wanting to see her happy because I'm an obedient boy. _

_By the time she's back, she's all cleaned up and her hair slightly wet. I love her long, brown hair. _

"_See? All pretty for my boy" she pats my head again and have another look at the cake. _

_I run to the bathroom and fly back to the kitchen. _

"_Mummy, can I comb your hair?"_

_She has a drink of something off a bottle, makes a disgust face as if she didn't really like it, and waves a hand to me. _

"_Ok, come here" she obliges, nonchalantly._

_She hoops me up to sit me in the kitchen counter and I giggle. She looks at me and half smiles. Placing a chair in front of me, she places with the back to me and sits on it, so we both are facing the oven. _

_I comb her hair for a while, slowly, being careful not to hurt her so she doesn't get mad and yell at me. I pull my hand through her locks again and again and catch her smiling, her eyes closed. I press my cheek to the top of her head, a nice feeling on my little chest. Mummy. Just then, a piercing sound that indicates the cake is done, startles both of us. _

I open my eyes abruptly, finding my face buried in my wife's chest. I close them again, relieved. I'm home. I'm safe. I haven't moved, and definitely, I haven't screamed. Because for once, I didn't have a nightmare. Actually, I don't know what I had. Was it a dream? A memory of my mother? I saw her so clearly… I move away, overwhelmed, disentangling myself from Ana's body.

"Christian?"

She's now fully awake, looking at me with urgency and fear in her dark blue eyes. I haven't said a word since our visit to the grave. Not in our way back home, not when we went to bed in our late arrival, Teddy already sleeping peacefully.

"I dreamt of her" I speak now, though.

"Your mother?"

Ana sounds relieves that I am talking and afraid at the same time.

"I'm sorry"

"For what?"

"For not speaking. I didn't intend to be mean, or anything. I just… didn't feel like it. Didn't know what to say"

"I know" she says, softly. "I'm not mad. I was just worried" her voice goes weak. "You can always speak to me Christian. Even if only to tell me that you don't know what to say"

Now we're laying each in our side of the bed. I can say Ana is feeling unsure, and I need so badly to touch her again. But for some reason, I can't move, so I keep looking at the ceiling.

"She was cooking my birthday cake" I say after a beat. "And I was combing her hair. We were in a small kitchen crowed with dirty utilities and outside it was raining. I pressed my cheek to her head"

I turn and lay on my side, looking at my wife. Whatever it was a dream or a memory, for a few minutes, I've been with my birth mother again. It was so bittersweet and real.

"You were right. I loved her"

Saying these words out loud is… odd. As if I wasn't the one speaking. Ana closes the distance that separate us and in just one second, she's between my arms, crying and hugging me tight, releasing all her fear. I realize I am quietly crying too.

"Don't cry Ana, don't cry for me. I don't want to ever see you cry"

I cover her adored face with kisses, finding that soft spot between her brows, my lips resting there. She wipes away my tears with her loving hands and kisses me.

"I was afraid I had pushed you too far. I'm sorry, Christian"

And is only now that I allow myself to come out of the bubble I have been in since the visit to the cemetery to see her guiltiness and anxiety. I feel bad for making her suffer, it wasn't my intention. I hug her against my body, with arms and legs, and kiss her hair, pressing my cheek to it.

"You always push me too far, Mrs Grey. And don't you ever change that. It's one of the reasons why I love you" I notice, more than hear, her chuckle against my neck.

"I'm glad to hear that" she mumbles, raising her face to look at me.

"I felt lost this morning" I can barely hear myself and gulp down saliva, in an attempt to open my constricted throat. "I didn't think it would affect me that much. I barely knew her, and it's been almost thirty years, for God's sake" I gulp again. "But to think that her ashes were there. To see where she has been resting all these years. She means nothing to me in a rational, conscious way. But still, in some deep, primal place… she's still my mother"

"Yes, she is"

Ana, now serene and attentive to every word I say, looks at me while we stay close, nose to nose, and it's so comforting, it feels so good to be able to talk to her. She smiles encouragingly at me, but I'm exhausted and don't really feel like saying anything else. I'm still reeling at admitting I loved my birth mother, and quoting one of our favorites Flynnishm: you have to walk before you can run.

"Can we leave it here for now?"

"Only if you let me make sweet, lazy love to you, Mr Grey"

"Please" I murmur.

And she proceeds.


	7. Scene 7: Healing

**A/N: the third part of the Ella's plot. Next one, if anything changes, will be Teddy's birthday ^^ But is not written entirely yet, so it might take a while. Thank you all for reading and commenting! :)**

**Christian Grey**

She heals me. It's as simple as that. Her, the love she gives me, the life she's building up with me. It comforts me every day. My dark soul is not so dark anymore, or at least, it doesn't torture me as it used to.

We're cuddling after we made love, and I nuzzle her neck, feeling much better than I have during the whole day. Actually, since the day I accepted Ana's idea to go to my mother's grave. I knew she wouldn't let it go, and deep inside me, I also knew she was right. I had to do this. For him, for my Teddy. It's not like we can avoid the topic of being adopted in my family, since we three – Mia, Elliot and me – are.

"A penny for your thoughts" she sighs contently, her fingers running lazily through my chest hair over and over again. I can almost feel her smile, her eyes closed.

I kiss her throat, her chin, slowly, savoring her and kiss her mouth, pouring in that kiss all my love. She cups my face and sighs against my lips.

"I was congratulating myself on the smart woman I have" I tease her.

"Oh, you liar" she pouts and giggle, making me kiss her again.

I reach for her nightgown on the floor – that I'm sure she put in just to please me. She knows I prefer her in satin instead of my shirts, which she wears anyway – and hand it to her.

"Put it on"

I try not to sound like the dominant in me, although it kind of comes out that way. I reach for my pants and jump out of the bed, leaving Ana staring after me, confused. Her face lights up when I enter our bedroom less than five minutes later and I crawl back into bed, carefully placing the sleeping form of our Blip in between us. His mouth is slightly open and he hasn't even noticed that I carried him over here.

His mummy pushes the cover up and I cuddle him carefully against my chest, extending my other arm to Ana, who happily snuggles under it and against our child.

Teddy stirs a little, I hush him until he's quiet again. He moves awkwardly, his head now tucked right under my chin, making me smile. My baby's so precious to me. He's discovering the world and I want to show him everything. Make him happy. Be enough for him.

I look up to find Ana staring at me lovingly. I smile and pull a strand of hair behind her ear. I trace the lines of her face, her lips. She smiles. I don't know what I would do without her. My life would be a succession of grey and dull days, merging one into the other. She saved me. They both do, everyday. Placing my hand sprawled over the end of my wife's back, I kiss my baby's ruffled hair. Ana says it is just like mine. I know she's right, and I love it. Although is too soon to tell, I think this little man has my looks, but hopefully his mother's temper. I wonder again, how it would be if we had another one. A little brunette princess with blue eyes. Yes, I wonder.

Ana kisses my nose, I can feel the grin splitting my face in two. I feel happy and in peace here, in our little bubble. Marveling that they exist and that they love me. Amazed at the immensity of it all. That the dirty and neglected little boy from Detroit is laying here, with his own little boy in his arms, and a loving woman by his side.

Yes, Ella will always be my mother, whatever I like it or want it or not. Just like Teddy will always be my son, no matter what the future brings. Always. My son. My wife. My family.

**Ana Grey**

So, for once, I'm the one awake, watching him sleep. I bet my not-so-Fifty-now, is dragged after a day like today. I still feel a little guilty. I wish things could be easier. But they're not. And I'm happy that this dark, tremendous obstacle, seems t be getting out of our way finally.

I see Teddy moving instinctively closer to his daddy and how Christian's body responses, naturally pulling him closer. I haven't really thought about since the day Ted was born – haven't had much time to think at all! I mean, my life's the way it is, my husband the way he is. And I am happy with the way things are. But man, how can your life change.

Specially the last six months, with the arrival of our offspring. I've worked from home, but even Christian has. There wouldn't have been a force on Earth to keep him away from us. He would go to the office of Grey Holding only in case of urgency. Yeah, sure, he was hanging off the phone every now and then. But still, he managed to be devoted to us the greatest part of the time. Jumping at any noise Teddy would make at night. Bringing him to me, so I could feed him. Worrying to death with every single colic, spending sleepless nights just to make sure the baby breathed when he got a cold and spent a few days sick. And I mean no sleeping at all. Me, I would bolt awake every time I heard him stir. But Christian would literally sit by the crib and not even blink, I swear. I feared that he would get sick too.

Nothing to see with the arrogant CEO I met that first day.

Yes, it's been quite a ride. For both of us, but most of all, for Christian. I've always dreamed, wanted, searched. I've felt loved, loved my family and showed it. I wouldn't go as far as saying I had never felt alone. I mean, I've never been a social person with tonz of friends. Although Kate and José were enough for me the greatest part of the times. My life was simple, uncomplicated, but love was always on me one way or another.

Christian, in the other hand… he's the one who has traveled farther. He never ceases to amaze me at how far he's gotten. He had so much to release, to share. I'm amazed at the amount of love he has inside of him, ready to give. That's his real wealth. I doubt he will ever realize this, but it's true. Love he has been keeping, saving, burying since he was four years old, unable to show it. Punishing himself first, punishing others later. He's gone from the cold, always in control dominating, to the warm, gentle man that I love. Sure, he has a complex, controlling, temperamental personality. But that's not a problem that needs to be solved anymore. It's just the way he is. Just like I am stubborn, too proud and exasperating some times, always trying to make things my way, colliding with him. But again, I don't think that's a bad thing neither. It's good that couples argue as much as they agree. Otherwise, everything would be too dull, right? And once thing I can be sure of, is that anything will be dull by Christian's side.

No, I never knew much about love or relationships. But I know that this is the real thing. That I found the love I didn't even know existed. That I'm really lucky for being Mrs Grey. That my husband will always take care of me and our Teddy.

How can I doubt it, when I'm lying here, with him holding me tight in his arms even as he sleeps? When he brought our baby just to feel him close, to have his family near him?

I lean down to smell my baby boy, leaving a kiss in the back of his head, his hair soft and damped from his sleep. He's like a little radiator, always warm. I look up at my husband, who finally sleeps peacefully, and it's heaven for me to see.

The world outside doesn't exist. And my eyelids start to feel heavy… I touch Teddy's shoulder, Christian's arm, just to make sure they're really there. I put one hand on Teddy's back, between him and my heart, the other on Christian's cheek. Each passing second becoming harder and harder to keep my eyes open. The room is bathed in a clear, soft moonlight, quiet except for the sound of our breathings. I feel my eyes close… but even in my darkness, I'm not alone. I feel _us_, the three of us. Sacred.


	8. Scene 8: Teddys birthday (Ana)

**A/N: sorry it took so long! I started a new job so it's taking much of my time. Anyway, there will be several small chapters of the party, not very elaborated (lack of time) but that I still hope you like. Just some glimpses to what the party is/was like ^^ Thank you as always for the reviews and favorites and follows :)**

**The mommy.**

I tiptoe to Teddy's room, Christian trailing behind me. We both peek at the threshold, excited and acting like children ourselves, my husband's hands on my waist. After all, this is the first birthday our baby is aware of, since at one he was way too little to know what was going on.

Teddy is sleeping in his crib, which presides the big room painted in soft blue and cream. Many of the stuffed animals I got in my hospital room are there to keep him company, along with many others that came later. A rocking horse, a balloon and many more toys are scattered around. There's even a shelving with some bedtime stories, tales and books for children, that Christian, and many times I join him, read to Teddy at night until he falls asleep. In a corner, there's a red tent where he hides his favorite toys. And a table with three chairs, so we can all sit and draw. When our little mercurial baby is in the mood, of course. By the big window there's a comfortable two seats sofa where I used to breastfeed him, usually snuggling by Christian's side. Everything is bright and colorful and just perfect, as it should be for any child.

"Maybe we should let him sleep some more" I say, doubtful.

"How much more?"

I chuckle as I notice the impatient in his voice.

"Are you laughing at me, Mrs Grey?" his teeth tug at my earlobe playfully and I giggle.

"Not much, just a few…"

And just then our baby opens sleepy, lazy blue eyes and smiled broadly when seeing us standing there, awakening instantly.

He opens his arms wide, welcoming us with a big big grin on his face, and we enter the room.

"Who's the birthday boy?"

I sing as I reach the bed and sits down. Christian does the same at his other side.

"Me!" he throws his arms around my neck, his father ruffling his hair and leaning to kiss his cheek.

"How old are you?"

He leans back, so his little warm body is resting against me, but his head is on Christian's shoulder. He kisses Teddy's forehead at the same time he concentrates and puts two fingers in front my face after a brief doubt.

"Want to come and see your presents?"

His daddy asks, and I know impatient is eating him alive. He's been tossing around all night. He's never done that before, my dear Fifty.

"Yes!"

Of course. How not. Now he jumps from my arms to his daddy's, who takes him happily, hugging him tight against his chest.

"Happy birthday to my favorite baby boy"

He kisses him once again and his son chuckles and reciprocates, kissing him back with a peck on his daddy's face and a big, satisfied smile afterwards. Christian is radiant – and sexy as hell, with only his pajamas pants on.

As I follow them downstairs, I watch them chatting away in a funny way, making me smile. Except for the eyes, which are blue as mine, Teddy's a mini Christian, even watching only their backs, you can say. With the ruffled and copper hair so alike. They melt my heart. I put a hand to my belly and wonder if Phoebe will be a mini me, maybe?

"Now, close your eyes"

Christian murmurs excitedly on his ear when we reach the outdoors room. Teddy places his hands over his eyes, grinning and making funny noises. Christian's grin rivals his. It's delightful to see. A blue bright day of the end of May greets us. The wooden train set is sitting right where Christian left it last night. And even though I advised him that Teddy would probably give it just a few moments of his total attention, I feel apprehensive to see how the whole thing will develop. I don't want Christian to feel bad if Ted doesn't jump up and down at the present.

Thankfully, when he places him on the floor and Ted removes his hands, he springs to the train shrieking in delight. Christian looks at me so proud and satisfied that I have to laugh. We follow and I sit near them, distractedly caressing my belly as Christian starts to explain to our son how it works.

"Mommy! Mommy!"

Waving his little hand, Teddy asks me to join them, so soon the three of us are playing and having fun.


	9. Scene 9: Teddys birthday (with Ava)

**A/N: **Hey there! Sorry it took me so long to update, and I know this chapter is not a big deal. I hope to write something better for the next one, I just didn't want to keep you waiting. Thanks to all the new followers for joining, and just all of you being there :)

**Ana and Kate. **

A couple of hours later, we have already had our breakfast – this time and for being his day, we let Teddy have it while playing with the train, his daddy and I sitting with him as we ate as well - and almost the whole family is with us, so we can celebrate with a lunch.

I arrive to Kate's side, and when she turns to me, we hug once again. I am so happy that she's still in my life. My sister in law, no less. And with a lovely baby girl that is now in my husband's arms. I smile as I watch them.

"She's beautiful, Kate"

"Isn't she?" she asks, radiant. "Your Teddy is doing well too"

"He's growing up so fast! You'll see for yourself soon. I got the feeling that time flies since he was born"

"Don't worry much about it though, you already have another on the oven" she teases me, and I elbow her, we both showing big grins on our faces. I shake my head. She'll never change. Then I look down at my belly, my two hands cupping and rubbing it.

"My little Phoebe"

"Oh, you already decided, then? Not Ella"

I talked to Kate via phone about it some time ago. We still talk often, about everything and anything. And since she got pregnant, she turned to me for advice. Who would have thought. Me, taking the lead and teaching something to Kate, who was always so ahead in everything: sex, sympathy, beauty, money, family – what with a brother and her parents still together. I think the only reason why I never envied or hated her was because I loved her. I still do.

"No Ella. But that's fine. Maybe it was asking too much" I admit.

"Probably. He already did so much accepting to go to Detroit back then"

"I know"

"He'd do anything for you, Ana" I smile, knowing that's true. "I'm so happy that he was able to love you the way you deserved. The contrary would have been a shame"

Kate sounds truly sincere, despite her still lingering issues with my husband. I grab her hand and squeeze it lightly.

"It would have happened, eventually. We are meant to be, I know"

"Always the romantic"

She rolls her eyes, moking me and I laugh. Then she squeezes my hand back and we smile at each other before going back to watch our men.

**The daddy. **

I show him the baby, leaning toward him as we seat on the floor.

"One like this?" he says, looking at Ava, soundly asleep in my arms.

Teddy is sitting between his uncle's legs, since Elliot is sitting with us, listening to the conversation with an amused face.

"Yes, more or less. A little baby girl. Your little sister"

He looks over at where Ana is, standing by Kate's side, chatting. I look too and they wave to us, grinning. Suddenly Teddy seems to realize something and his eyes go wide.

"Inside mummy now?"

"Yes, we explained to you, remember?" He looks kind of scared and worried. "But it doesn't hurt" I look at Ana, who is now watching us intently, and shake my head lightly, to let her know everything's OK.

But I truly hope Teddy doesn't ask me how we'll get her out of there. It was hard enough when Ana's belly started to show, to find a simple and kids appropriated way to explain him she was having a baby. He asked us if we were going to buy her.

"And how will she out?"

_Fuck_. While he ruffles Ted's hair, Elliot's eyebrows shoot up, looking at me expectantly. He's really enjoining this.

"Well…" Damn, I'm so not ready for this. "Mother's have a way. They err… There are doctors like grandma to help" I end up, lamely.

Elliot is laughing quietly and silently at me. I'm going to kill him.

"So" I go back to the topic. "What do you say?"

He comes closer and peeks at Ava's face again. She's still sleeping, all rose cheeks and pouty little mouth. Beautiful and warm against my chest, a lovely weight in my arms.

"You want to hold her?" I ask, trying to get some kind of reaction from Ted, since he doesn't answer.

He scrunches up his face and shakes his head no, leaning on Elliot's chest.

"You want to go back to the train?"

He nods yes vigorously, and soon after, he's already running for it.

"It'll take time" My dad, who has been watching in the distance, says. "I know for Elliot was hard at the beginning, with both, you and Mia"

"Hey, I was a kid, don't hold it against me!" he says, putting his hands up before extending his arms to take Ava.

I give her to him reluctantly, feeling the void she leaves, and my eyes meet Ana's. She smiles and I smile back. I so want to hold my baby girl in my arms.


End file.
